Someone explain this, please.
Can someone please, PLEASE explain to me what in the wide world of sports (hi, Dad and your favorite weird sayings) would possess an otherwise-sleeping adult dog to NOM three fucking keys off of my laptop’s keyboard (the one I just paid out the ass to have repaired) in the FIVE WHOLE MINUTES that it takes me to go upstairs and get a drink of water to bring back to the dungeon (… insert question mark here EXCEPT THAT I NO LONGER HAVE ONE). Oh wait, I can still do it with my finger, like this, see? Oooh, exciting. Living on the edge here, people.
Seriously though, dogs. You’re BOTH three years old and have known this laptop since I got it. I leave it out for five minute “run-upstairs-and-use-the-facilities” breaks ALL THE DAMN TIME. I mean, I get the demolishing of new or unusual items left out in your reach while I’m at work (that novelty just can’t wear off quickly enough for you, can it?). That’s totally on me, and I learned my lesson for that one REAL quickly. But this? THIS? What the fuck, dogs? You were BOTH asleep when I went upstairs!
Peroxide has been administered and we are now waiting to see who is the guilty party. Which sucks considering that I seriously need to make one of the aforementioned run-upstairs-to-use-the-facilities sprints, and since they got the damn keys off of my keyboard in as many minutes as it would take me to take care of THAT bit of business, I’m reluctant to leave them in the event that they puke and then re-ingest the bounty (as they so like to do) and thus defeat the whole purpose of the circus known as peroxiding two gigantic, guilty-faced dogs.
Though, considering that Napoleon was already in the corner when I came back into the room (just like in this picture after this traumatic event combined with this bit of fun to nearly kill whatever was left of my sanity), my bets are on his stomach being the one to return the stolen goods. Like I want them now, anyway. Gawd.
I seriously DO NOT understand these knuckleheaded gooftards. Really, what the fuck, guys? That was really, really weird, even for YOU.
Stephanie said
The evil corner elf told them that you hide the treats under those keys.
Dingo said
When those tiles pop out, you can go all Sesame Street on their laptop chewin’ asses. “This pile of vomit is brought to you by the ? and . with special guest the Alt key!” I think, though, that they were just trying to send you a message. They took those keys for a reason. Your assignment is to figure out what they were trying to say. It’s important! I know it!
Vegetable Assassin said
What? You’ve never had a Q, S and X sandwich? Great with ketchup.
Or if your keyboard is anything like mine there’s probably more food under the keys than in my kitchen.
Maybe that was it. Ha!
Vegetable Assassin said
Or in your pups’ case they like punctuation an awful lot…
Amber from Girl with the Red Hair said
My moms dog has chewed A LOT of weird/random things. But, keyboard keys??? That’s a new one!! Sounds like you have your work cut out for you!
inkpuddle said
Stephanie, said evil corner elf needs to come and get the ass-whooping that is owed him. Or just bring me some new punctuation keys, one.
Dingo, I’M TOTALLY DOING THAT. I should video it. And yeah, really, what’s up with the punctuation? Clearly, I’m missing something here (I mean, besides the actual keys).
Veggie, guilty as charged. But if they’re only JUST now figuring that out, I’ve got some seriously mentally challenged puppies. They’ve been missing out for YEARS – there have been plenty of other keyboards that would have provided a few midnight snacks under the letters, too and yet they never caught on. Until now. God help me (or more specifically, my computer).
Amber, yeah, my first puppy demolished the gate on our fence, chewed the screens off of all the ground-floor windows, and then thought that three quarts of motor oil from the containers *someone* left in her reach would be a nice way to unwind while she admired her handywork … I’m pretty used to weird and random chewers (which is why things are usually all put away!). But this? Not something I ever could have imagined!
Steam Me Up Kid said
Yeah, it had to be food stuck underneath. I remember those days when my dogs were young and everything was at risk…couches, chairs, shoes. Once one of them ate a used knotted up condom from my nightstand (it had only been there 10 minutes, swear) and pooped it out on my mom’s lawn. Untied. Empty. That was probably the worst ingested object.
inkpuddle said
Okay, except that I totally set them up for an ambush tonight and caught Louis slobbering all over and GLEEFULLY prying keys off of the keyboard just to munch on the KEYS themselves. What the fuck, you tardbrain? Where does this COME FROM??????
Kerro said
Thanks so much for the laugh, Inkpuddle.
inkpuddle said
Kerro! Glad you enjoyed their little misdeeds.
My poor laptop is not so amused, however … 